Did I Teach You Enough?

By Marianne Reid Cole

My son you have just entered the world, with its sometimes cold and icy touch.
And the question that haunts me daily is, did I teach you enough?

Did I teach you that you must choose your friends carefully and everyone you cannot trust.
That you must be aware of “frienemies”, did I teach you enough?

Did I teach you the meaning of responsibility so you won’t become financially crushed?
Develop, bad credit and mortgage your financial future away, did I teach you enough?

Have I taught you how to be independent and to follow your own heart even when the going gets tough?
That question in my mind just won’t resign, did I teach you enough?

Did I teach you about taking care of your car, or if need be how to hail a cab or catch a bus?
How not to be disappointed when because of your appearance cabs pass you by, did I teach you enough?

Good jobs are hard to come by and if you get one please don’t mess up.
Be consistent, be on time and do your best, did I teach you enough?

Did I teach you that life is sometimes unfair and just because of your skin color you may be treated quite gruff.
And that just walking into some stores you are instantly suspect, did I teach you enough?

There are so many things that I wanted to teach you, like the meaning of going dutch?
That definition alone could save you quite a bit a of money, did I teach you enough? :-)


Did I teach you to be a gentlemen and that opening doors for women is a plus.
To treat people like you want to be treated,
Did I teach you enough?

Many women will cross your path, but relationships should not be generated by lust.
For god is able to keep you from falling, did I teach you enough?

Did I teach you not to give your heart away just to anyone, because the pain of disappointment may prove to be too much.
The recovery sometimes takes much longer than expected, did I teach you enough?

Did I teach you to be a good steward of your money and to live by it’s slogan that in god we trust.
And to never spend your tithing no matter what, did I teach you enough?

Never allow people to define who you are, don’t let them become your personal judge.
Know who you are and what you stand for, I’m still wondering did I teach you enough?

Life will hit you below the belt and things may seem unfair and get pretty tough.
But I hope you know that you can do all things thru Christ, did I teach you enough?

Did I teach you that you’ll make mistakes and experience failures and just when you think it’s all too much.
If you trust him god will intercede on your behalf, did I really teach you enough?

This question that i ponder plagues my mind, too often and probably too much.
I just need the peace of mind that only Christ can give, I pray that I’ve taught you enough.

I LOVE YOU,

MOM.



Mrs. Cole is the daughter of Susie Toomer Reid, and the mother of four sons, one being our recent NAACP Image Award winner. She is also a longtime planning committee member. This poem, she says, was written recently, when her oldest son Herbert Cole III, moved out. Marianne has delighted family and friends with her heartfelt and humorous poems for years. She looks forward to publishing a book of poetry one day.

Through Her Eyes

Photography and Prose by Beandrea Davis

Beandrea (self portrait)

This is just one, of a set, previously on exhibit at the Kelly Writers House at UPenn in West Philadelphia. She is the granddaughter of Robert Toomer, daughter of Barbara Toomer Davis.

This is so impressive Beandrea! I bet that our handsome Uncle Robert is looking down and smiling. You know that everyone was in love with Uncle Robert, our first family photographer.

View the exhibit.

Toomer DNA Testing in Pittsburgh Paper

During my time at the Family Reunion Institute Conference, in Pittsburgh, PA, Ervin Dyer of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette requested an interview from a few of the conference speakers. He was writing an article on African American DNA testing. There may be a clue to our DNA test results.

• DNA test locate genetic branches on African-American family tree.
  By Ervin Dyer, Pittsburgh Post-Gazette View Article

• Toomer Blog on DNA testing

Toomer NAACP 2006 Image Award Winner

Blake Cole, son of Marianne Reid Cole, grandson of Susie Toomer Reid, received the NAACP 2006 Image Award, for Outstanding Male Student. The plaque read:

• NAACP & Rowan University presents to Blake Cole for Superior Achievement and Academic Excellence

Cousin Blake, and his twin brother Brent have entertained the Toomer Family at reunions for many years, since they were lil guys. But they are grown now. You make the family proud! We thank you for making us look good. This is exciting news.

All of you Rowan, Glassboro State, NJ Teacher’s College grads, leave your cousin, nephew, Blake a comment. I know that many of us have gone through this university.

Picture of Blake, suspenders down, and Brent Cole, relaxing in E. A. Reid Hall, after performing for the 1992 Toomer Reunion church service at Greater Mt. Carmel, COGIC. The hall is dedicated to their beloved grandfather, Uncle Lija to the Toomer family.

Jean Toomer Ancestors On Our Slave Deed?

In an earlier comment on this blog, Georgia Toomer cousin, Ricardo asked Floyd about Kit, the grandmother of famous Harlem Renaissance writer Jean Toomer. His question was whether the slave Kit, listed on the deed with our Caroline, is the grandmother of Jean Toomer. Caroline is the grandmother of Poppa, Henry Toomer, our Ancestor.

While fooling around on the net, I googled John Toomer. One item of interest found was the passage below.

• In 1892 Dickson married Nathan Toomer of Perry. Toomer was born in 1839 in Chatham County, North Carolina, the slave of Richard Pilkinson. As a child Toomer was purchased by John Toomer, who moved to Houston County, Georgia, in the 1850s. Upon John Toomer_s death in 1859, his brother Colonel Henry Toomer purchased Nathan_s mother, Kit, and seven of her children from the estate. As Henry Toomer_s personal assistant, Nathan Toomer learned the manner of the white upper class. Toomer and Dickson's marriage lasted until her death on June 11, 1893, of neurasthenia, or nervous exhaustion. Shortly thereafter Nathan Toomer married Nina Pinchback. The son of this marriage was Jean Toomer, the author of the novel Cane (1923). Extract, New Georgia Encyclopedia: Amanda America Dickson (1849-1893)
  

Immediately I thought about cousin Ricardo and his question. This led me to the Toomer family web site to view what we call OUR slave deed . In fact there is a Kit, with a son Nathan. (Nathan is the name of Jean Toomer_s father.) Could this be the Kit and the Nathan, ancestors of Jean Toomer? Is this document of even greater importance that we thought? The researcher in me wonders if Kit and Caroline are related. Are there living DNA subjects who could prove or disprove this connection? If we do not share a close ancestral connection, could we come from the same people, which our African Ancestry DNA test will reveal?

Cousin Floyd has known for decades that we were on the same plantation as the ancestors of Jean. He may have even told me that this Kit is the grandmother of the famous author. Set the record straight Cousin Floyd, the walking Toomer BGMI (Biographical and Genealogical Master Index).

Determination, by Beandrea Davis

The end of brute force
the beginning
of letting go
determination
putting one foot
in front of the other
until you've uncovered it
a whole
new
clear
way of seeing
your self


by Beandrea Davis, CYT
yoga.beandrea@verizon.net



Beandrea Davis is the grand daughter of Robert Toomer, and daughter of Barbara Toomer Davis, also a poet. Other poems by Beandrea Davis, Spine

Spine, by Beandrea Davis

Cooling centers
appear strategically
along spine.
Where head meets neck,
between blades of shoulder,
as brain floats on cloud,
and tailbone plugs like power chord.
Spine channels Light
up from Earth,
as beauty waterfalls over cliffs
inside me.
Inside this motion while sitting still
I know
I am
Divine.


by Beandrea Davis, CYT
yoga.beandrea@verizon.net

Beandrea Davis is the grand daughter of Robert Toomer, and daughter of Barbara Toomer Davis, also a poet. What I know of Bea's CV is that she is a University of Pennsylvania graduate and is currently preparing to attend graduate school, for journalism, at UC Berkeley. During her time at UPenn she graced the pages of Essence magazine as one of the years star college students. Additionally, Beandrea was bitten by the photo bug, like her grandfather, whom we know as the family photographer. Her photos have been on exhibit in Philadelphia. She has attended many Toomer family reunions, especially as a child. I have a few young photos of her that I must dig up. Thank you Bea for submitting your poetry. Thank you for making us proud with your academic accomplishments. We wish you success in your future endeavors! I especially love that your are a yoga teacher. There are plenty of Toomer backs that could use your help. When are you leaving for Berkeley?

Eat Right and Exercise

Millions of research and development dollars are spent every year to provide us with information on how to live a better life and avoid various illnesses. They study cancer, heart disease, and fatigue to name a few. We eagerly watch shows and read magazine advertisements on how to have healthy hair, nails and skin. Year after year there are new reports. If you listen, you will notice that they all say the same thing. Eat Right and Exercise. Yes, eat your vegetables and break a sweat regularly. (No I am not referring to personal summers.)

There is one thing that is certain; if you do not learn how to eat, you can look forward to a future of restrictions. No salt, no sugar, no caffeine, no, no, no. As a family we are predisposed to hypertension and heart disease. Medical conditions are passed down by nature and nurture, but current choices also play a part. Sure, we ate all kinds of stuff back in the day. But, back in the day Toomers rarely lived to see 70 years old.

Physically, as a family we are, well, blessed, if I can be so modest. It is a gift and we have nothing to do with it, initially. Our collective ancestors bestowed this upon us. There are many Toomer athletes. Back in the day, the uncles played baseball, on the field across from Toomer Avenue in Berlin. In recent history, there are more than a few Toomers who have received college scholarships in football, track and field, from the boomers down to generation X.

I have heard people say, I do not eat vegetables, or I only eat two vegetables. That is almost like saying, I do not put oil in my car, or I never have my oil changed. I do not use antifreeze. Well you car is going to run for a while, but eventually you will destroy your investment. You can always get a new car, but only get one body.

Family, you have been given a Ferrari. How are you taking care of it? Are you drinking your water? Did you eat fresh fruit and vegetables today? Have you decreased you salt intake? Have you decreased the number of processed food that you eat? Have you taken your Ferrari for a spin around the park or to the gym lately? (My Ferrari was collecting dust, but I started back on a workout routine after a few months off. The summer is coming and we will be in shorts and sleeveless before we know it.)

Eat Right and Exercise. This is the simple key to life, the fountain of youth that everyone is in search of. Listen to the bottom line of every medical and health report. They all sing the same tune. Sometimes we want to take the easy way out. Where is the pill to burn this fat off of me while I sit here and stuff my face? We eat processed foods, because they seem quick, easy and delicious. But, I ask you, what could be quicker or more delicious, than fresh spinach sauted in garlic. Choose a piece of fruit instead of a candy bar. (I have a major chocolate problem, so I am pumping myself up here. Also a problem with McDonald french fries, and Oreos and....) It is a challenge to do these two basic things, but it is worthwhile to give it a try.

Here are a couple of web sites that discuss health:

• MedlinePlus: African American (NIH)
• Net Wellness: African American Health
• High Blood Pressure
• American Heart Association
• American Diabetes Association

Toomer Precious Places

Last night I attended a meeting at Scribe Video Center in Philadelphia, PA. This was the first meeting of the many community groups involved in Scribe_s 2006 Precious Places Community History Project. Each community will produce an 8 minute video documentary on one precious place in their community. I will be on the Lawnside team, a town dripping with history and precious places. This will be part of a larger oral history project conducted by the Lawnside Historical Society. From the list of places, Mt. Peace Cemetery, on the White Horse Pike was chosen. This is a historical African American burial ground, spanning more than 11 acres. There are many civil war veterans and notable blacks buried there. Many of the other precious places in NJ are trying to survive eminent domain, a big topic in the courts.

On the ride over the bridge I, of course, thought about Toomer family precious places. Which locations do all of us, as a family, consider precious. The first place that came to mind was Tippin Inn. Everyone loves to talk about Tippin Inn. Everyone wants to open a spot and call it Tippin Inn 2. This was one stop on the chitterlin circuit, a place where blacks played for blacks. Uncle James had to book the big acts to get a crowd back into the pines of east Berlin, NJ. There were many happening spots in south Jersey at that time, like those in Lawnside Park.

Newspaper research concurs with some of the stories of the famous entertainers performing at Tippin Inn in the 60_s. Fat_s Domino, BB King, Big Maybelle and Patti LaBelle, were just a few of the many to hang out with the Toomers and the people of east Berlin. BB King came to Tippin Inn so much that seeing his big grin under a conked do, with Tippin Inn typed under his chin, ceased to be exciting. Yeah Yeah. BB King was there. Floyd and I soon developed a look that said, BB King, so not to break our forward procesthroughru the stacks of newspapers.

Another precious place would be Toomer Avenue, formerly Elm Avenue, in West Berlin, NJ. This is the street where our ancestors Henry and Bertha Toomer settled in the 1920_s. A few of their children, and in-laws built homes on this street. Tippin Inn was just one block away. In 2000 Berlin Township renamed Elm Avenue to Toomer Avenue in honor of the family.

What other precious places are there for the family? For me, and some other_s, my great grandmother Lucille Sister Toomer Jackson_s property was a treat. To see that little itsy bitsy piece of property, which is too small to build a house on now, one would not believe that it contained so much back in the day. The backyard use to seem as if it would go on for ever. There were all kinds of fruit trees and vines, a big garden, and a front yard with bushes, whose sole purpose was to produce fresh switches to tear you up with. DYFS who?

What am I missing? What do you consider a Toomer Precious Place?

Toomer Awards

Every reunion we give out special Awards to Toomers in attendance. The awards are: youngest, most senior, newlywed, and furthest traveled. Occasionally we give awards for longest married and special recognition. Of these awards, the most coveted is the youngest Toomer award. I remember a naive cousin, who had his child in the spring, thinking that his daughter would be in contention for the youngest award. People roll out of the maternity award and to the reunion to collect their prize. Generally the winner is one month or less. Folks you should hear the shouting. The mothers of ancient 3 month olds babies are quickly quieted by mothers who are still on maternity leave.

The most senior award can be fun. The last time that we gave this award, my grandfather Charles “Sonny” Malcolm Toomer won the award. This affected him in ways that only people who were standing on that side of the crowd would know. He used Deadwood type language to and from the podium. Basically he thought that we were making fun of him. We tried to explain that we were honoring him. Maybe, to him, he looked around and his aunts and uncles (Momma and Poppa_s children) whom he grew up with were no longer here. Now it is just him, his sister Bernice, and first cousin Eleanor. He actually has over 60 first cousins, but only a few that are in there 70_s. (Personally, I look forward to receiving the most senior Toomer Award, so kids lay it on me. I will not mind. As you know, I plan to live to be 125 years old.)

Furthest traveled generally goes to faithful reunion going family, Kathy Toomer and Edwin Baylock, who travel from Canton, OH with children and now grandchildren. One day I will go to Canton, bypass the Football Hall of Fame, and go to the Baylock_s to visit the Toomer Hall of Furthest Traveled Awards room.

In Planning Committee meetings we often discuss including other awards. One award discussed would honor the person with the most descendants at the reunion. The problem with this is the time that it would take to ascertain the winner. You know that we are not known for our patience. Another award that we thought about would be given to the person with the most generations. During Aunt Olga’s time, she would have won this award. Who do you think might win these awards?

Family. Who will win the Toomer Awards this year? Are there any lil Toomers due in August or late July? Will a Toomer travel more that 465 miles and upset the Baylock dominance of the travel award? Will Sonny Toomer attend again? Will we give him an award? Do I hear wedding bells? Are you a contender or know of some one who is? Post comments and make sure you join us for the answer to these questions and MORE, at the Toomer Family Reunion Saturday, Labor Day weekend, September 2, 2006.

Funeral Programs and Family Fun

Organizing funeral programs is a great way to learn about family history. This is a great project for people of all ages. Everyone is a collector. We never leave a funeral without a program. Some even get two programs, an extra for a person who may not be in attendance. We have them stored in boxes, book cases, and mixed in with other papers. If you do not have a collection of your own, offer to help someone else.

Funeral programs are important to us so we should take better care of them. They should be easily viewable, so that they can serve their original purpose of reminding us of the life of a loved one. If they are shoved in a box or scattered about the house they are not accessible. Organize the programs by:

1. Purchase 3-ring binders and sheet protectors from any office supply store.
2. Gather your programs into one location. If you can only find one box now, you can get started now. Do not put this off. When the others turn up, you can easily add them.
3. Unfold programs and insert into sheet protectors. The top edge of the program should be near the 3 holes of the sheet protector. Oversized programs will be a challenge. Generally they will fit, folded, inside of a sheet protector.
4. Alphabetize programs and place into 3-ring binders.

Once arranged, your funeral programs will seem like a book. You will be able to easily flip the pages and view the personal histories of family and friends. (Junior Genealogists can start their collection now. If you do not attend funerals, have someone bring you a program.)

Who Are You, Really?

What do you know about your pedigree? A pedigree shows your direct ancestry, the people responsible for your being on this earth. First there is you. Next are your parents, followed your grandparents and so on. What do you know about your parents and grandparents? It is surprising how many basic life details we do not know about our close relatives, until we think about it. Do you know where your parents were born and married? I knew when and where my parents were married, because this information was in the family bible. However, I was very surprised to find out that my maternal grandparents, Maggie Mae Daniels and Charles Malcolm Toomer eloped in Elkton, MD. Have other Toomers eloped? I asked Grandmom why they eloped and she said that they just wanted to get married. Then I asked her, in retrospect, would you have done that again? We both laughed. You guys who know my Grandfather know what I am talking about. But when she talked about this marriage event, there was something in her eyes that I had never seen before. Those two were really in love. They have 12 children to prove it. Now, if I had never asked her about her marriage, I would have searched for marriage certificates in NJ in vain. I may have searched in PA, but not in MD.

Fill in this Pedigree Chart to see how much you know. (Everyone, do not email Floyd for your pedigree.) You may be surprized how much you know. Number 1 is for your name, birth, and marriage. Include date and location. Number 2 is your father and Number 3 is your mother. Continue by entering your grandparents. Go as far as you can. This will give you an idea of what you know about yourself.

The next step is to do oral interviews . Interview family to help fill in the blanks on your pedigree chart. This is what Floyd did. He talked to Big Aunt Ida and Little Aunt Ida (his Mom), among others. I heard that there were recordings. The thought of hearing their voices again..................................................................

So interview your parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, and family friends. By doing this you will gain a better understanding of, who they are, why they think, and do the things that they do. Additionally you will learn more about yourself. First get the basics: first, middle, last and maiden name. Then collect vital information such as: birth, marriage, divorce, death. Get the date and location for these events. Next you want to learn about their parents, brothers and sisters. Print the Family Group Sheets, two pages, Ancestors site and record this information.

After you learn the basics, ask about personal recollections of, childhood, church, education, sports, activities, work, military, and more. But the most important thing to remember is: Be Patient. If they do not currently discuss the old days then it may take some time to remember that stuff. In my case Grandmom said that she did not know anything, She remembered her Grandpop William Stanford, that was it. But once we talked about it more and I showed her documents, her memories started coming back bit by bit. Eventually, I did not have to ask her questions, she would just start talking about Alabama. I thought, wow, this patience and diligence stuff really works.

Learn what you can now. View the oral history questions from the UMass RootsProject to get you started. This site contains oral history questions, with an emphasis on African American Genealogy. Soon, when someone asks you, who are you, really, you can say proudly, how much time do you have. Enjoy learning about yourself.

Holographic Reunions

I just watched a piece on CNN about, being in two places at one time. They referenced the holographic meeting in Star Wars. Then they translated this concept to the workplace. Well, you know how my mind and thinking would apply this concept. We could have Holographic Reunions! Of course we would continue to have the traditional full bodied experience every two years, as we do now, but imagine. Imagine the different things that we could do.

We could get together regularly, having different clubs for the youth and young adults. Back in the day, people like Ronnie, Floyd, and Leslie used the church van, driving around, gathered up the kids. I think that they would enjoy taking the kids on holographic trips instead. One month the kids would come together and watch a movie and have discussion. Next month we would take a holographic trip to Perry, GA and Floyd would give us a history lesson. We could even organize a dream of mine, Toomer Kids Marching in the Berlin Township_s July 4th parade. We could have kids from all over the US meet to practice. We would probably have to limit it to 50 kids within a narrow age group. The number of kids attending the 2000 reunion can be seen in the Toomer group picture. It is hard to count them, and that was 6 years ago, so you imagine. I do not think that Berlin Twp would be prepared for an additional 200 kids in the parade. (I am not sure if there would be holographic kids or full bodied. This part has not been worked out). They could even do their thing at the reunion. Everyone loves when the young Toomers perform at the reunion. Coach, Herb III and Justin were a treat on Toomer Avenue and at Greater Mt. Carmel. When lil Mark joined in on the performance of his big first cousins, the crowd cracked up. Remember the Toomer Steppers, Unsun, Lia, Joy, and Joy I think. (Someone correct me if I am wrong and missing folks.)

For the adults we could have interest groups in cooking, books, computers, poetry, African history, genealogy, etc. We could even have a holographic grandparents club where they come together to share stories and pictures of their little cuties. For the teens we could have the Getting Ready for College Club. Different family members, who they normally would not have contact with, could encourage and help them to make sense of all of the stuff required to prepare, choose, and be succesful in college. Additionally the future freshmen could work through this together. This would create a bond between college freshmen living far apart, possibly going to school in the same metro area.

The holographic possibilities are endless. But if you think about it, much this can be done right now. We could create clubs and groups using online technology that has been available for some time now. This technology is called message boards or forums. Why do we not have this, you may ask. Well the reason is simple. We must first build an online constituency. We need to know who is online and what kinds of things you want. Post a comment to let us know that you are out there and the kind of things that you are interested in. Send your email address to be included on Toomer Mailings.

Goodbye Super Bowl Champion City

Well family it is time to leave Pittsburgh. The Family Reunion conference was a success. It was amazing how many of the city tourism folks want the conference in their city. Kissimmee, FL, and Birmingham, AL were two of the cities that I remember, probably because they made the most noise. The PA Heritage guy let them do their thing. Then he stood up and let everyone know that PA has the conference until 2009 (and jokingly stated that the judicial system would be involved if events occured otherwise). Yes the room roared. We will be in Philadelphia next year so family plan to attend. Then back to Pittsburgh in 2008.

It was fun to hang out with the vendors. There is a sister vendor team who are always at the conference and they have great stuff. Also there was an African designer named Aziz and his assistant. They were speaking in a different language. So I asked them which language were they using and they said that they were speaking Wolof and they were from Senegal. After my presentation I stopped by to say goodbye and ended up showing them our web site. I told them about the DNA testing and our results and one said, ahhh, I can see it. I am not sure what it is but I had fun shopping in their area. Floyd had a similar experience. Maybe he will share this with you.

During this mornings continental breakfast we had the pleasure to listen to a poet. Turhan Shabazz said that in Pittsburgh he is known as the Unwrapper. He writes a poem a day. They were beautiful and full of information about how we treat one another, our men, our women and our children. He spoke of empowering yourself to take care or you and your family. He was fantastic! You could see people nodding their heads and smiling, as if they were saying preach brother preach.

Calling all Toomer poets. I know that we have lots of poets out there. Share with your family. Our talent is great. (And if you do not realize this call me. I will pump you up.) Don_t keep it to yourself. If all of us bring our talents and skills to bear in planning and executing the family reunion, imagine the things that we could do. We thank you for sharing your talents and yourself. This is how we grow. As a reunion we do plenty with little funds. I have seen families who have bank accounts that make my mouth water, and family I have got to tell you, I am thankful for what we have. The planning committee is looking forward to working with more of you. Growth is good.

ToomerFamily.com Is A Hit

My first Toomer presentation was a success. I presented in a workshop called YourFamilyOnline.com. My topic was Building a Family Web Site. We had a nice crowd and I ran out of handouts. Thank goodness for a business center on the same floor. I forgot to show the cemetery page in the first session but remembered during the second session. People generally love the fact that we plant Black-Eyed Susans on family graves in the East Berlin Cemetery. Last year when I described to workshop participants how in August our cemetery is a sea of yellow, full of Black-Eyed Susans, everyone said Awwwwwhhhhhhhh. That was really unexpected, but it warmed my heart. One issue that we have every year is that they mow down some of our flowers. As they are perennials, many of them should be almost bush-like. (Keep an eye out to lawnmowers in the cemetery.) The Planning Committee works on this every year. In the fall we pull the seeds and replant. Family we need your help to keep this going.

2006 Family Reunion Conference

Well family I am on my way to Pittsburgh, Pa, to attend the 15 National Family Reunion Conference. This conference has been around since the late 1980’s.. It was started at Temple University by Dr. Ione Vargus. She created a group called the Family Reunion Institute. Cousin Floyd was in the mix from the beginning and eventually got me involved. At my first conference I ran from table to table soaking up the information and then finding Floyd to compare notes. Our first presentation together was in a workshop called Telling the Story. Along with two other presenters we discussed ways to present genealogical and historical information at a reunion. Floyd and I discussed our Toomer publications, the Partial History booklet and one birthday calendar at that time, both prized possessions in our Toomer arsenal. Additionally we showed reunion tee shirts which provided genealogical information. This included the big T with Momma and Poppas pictures and their named children and the shirt with the names of all of the living descendants-I think that we numbered over 600 that year.

The Toomers were a hit. Eventually we presented the 1999 birthday calendar and the 2000 reunion journal. Then Floyd said - okay grasshopper, you have successfully walked the rice paper and it is still intact. You are now ready for your solo journey. By that time the internet was the rage and of course the Toomers had a web site. Dr. Vargus viewed the web site and asked me to do a present on building a family web site. Last year, in Atlanta, GA, I shared a workshop, Gina Paige, Co-founder of African Ancestry Inc. Floyd and I had already discussed the possibility of doing a family DNA test. But after sitting and listening to Gina_s wonderful presentation, and having my many questions answered I called Floyd from the conference full of African dreams.

Part of the reason that I love this conference is because you get to learn how other families put on a reunion. People do some fantastic things, but not all things are for all families. Floyd and I would sit and listen to the many ideas evaluating each on the Toomer scale. Nah the Toomers aint gonna go for that, could you see us, or we could do this if we change it a bit. For instance many families travel for their reunion. We would love to take a family trip but we want as many people to attend as possible. If we went on the road this would put many at a disadvantage. An off year trip would be nice. Any travel agents in the family? (Patience of a saint and middle eastern diplomacy experience required. Nah, just kidding fam, just kidding. We are a loving bunch. Just as long as everything is perfect. Remember The Reunion Without Chicken. Again, we truly apologize for that one. We really do. How this happened remains a Toomer Unsolved Mystery. Thank good ness it did not become a Toomer City Confidential.)

This will be an exciting conference on many fronts. First, this will be the first multicultural conference. Second, I will get the chance to hang out with my Pittsburgh genealogy buddies. When I met them in 2003, it was like meeting family. They took us in and made sure that we were ok. They fed us good home cooking (and I think that yams were involved). It was fantastic! Additionally, two of the Pittsburgh crew have ancestry in Barbour Co, AL, where my Grandmother Maggie’s ancestors are from. The final point of excitement will be introducing our new family blog.

Next year the conference will be in Philly. All of those interested, plan to attend. I will probably be in March.

Well off to the airport, with an additional nine new CDs, pushing my iPod song count up to 1236 (3.8 days of music). Off to meet other family reunion planners and budding planners. Off in search of a new idea to make our Toomer Reunion special. Floyd, stay by the bat phone.

Spring Clean for Family Fundraiser

Spring will be here soon. With the recent 60 degree temperatures, we thought that it was here already, but winter reminds us that, it aint over till it_s over. But once spring is truly in the air, you will begin cleaning. There will be plenty of decisions to make: to keep, to throwaway, to give to Goodwill. Should you keep that suit, or pair of shoes, that you have not been able to wear in years? Do you really need all of those knick-knacks? How many cd holders and candle holders do you really need? The Toomer Family Planning Committee is here to help you.

Saturdays in May we will have a Toomer fundraiser at the Auction (Berlin Farmer_s Market), in Berlin, NJ. We are renting a table to sell used items. Please bring your items to the Auction. The table will be in the T row. This row is just outside of the gated flea market area. It is closest to Blackwood Clementon Rd.

During one of those 60 degree days, I stopped by America_ s favorite retailer, which everyone loves to hate, and picked up an 18-gallon tote. I will use this tote to hold my flea market items as I come across them. Last year, when we held the same fundraiser, there were many items that we could of had on hand. All day the committee remembered things that they forgot to pack. Each time a flea marketer asked for something, like costume jewelry, we would look at each other and say Oh, I have a bag full at home that I could have brought. Clothes and shoes were a hot item. People also liked pictures, cd holders, cute knick-knacks, etc.

So on a Saturday in May, stop by the Auction and donate a few items. One year Susan donated a kitchen sink. Boy did I worry about going home with that. It turned out to be a hot item. People bid on it all day. (I guess that I was not that worried. But I was not going to just give it away.) Large items are fine, but just as Susan did, if it did not sell she was going to take it back. So don’t pull up a U-Haul, but bring us some stuff. The planning committee is full of latent sales people, so if you bring it, generally we will move it. We will be there on the following Saturdays from 7:30 am -3:30 pm, weather permitting:

• May 6
• May 13
• May 20
• May 27
  

New at the 2006 Toomer Reunion

In addition to DNA test results, Toomers will have two new things to look forward to. First, on Friday night after church and dinner, we will play a new game, T! True Toomerwood Stories. This game evolved during a planning committee meeting at Marianne_s. We are fully aware that we have more than our share of great story tellers (as well as subjects) in our family. We would like to capture these family stories while we are all together. (We need 2 videographers to volunteer.) Each storyteller will have three minutes to tell a G-Rated story. (You can tell me the non-G-rated stories on the side.) View full details of T! True Toomerwood Stories.

The second new reunion item will be a Saturday program. BRING YOUR PORTABLE CHAIR! We generally bring everyone together once on Saturday so that we can have the dance contest* and give out the Toomer Awards. This reunion we have extra stuff to share and do. The program will last for about an hour. During this time we will have the dance contest, awards, DNA results, T! True Toomerwood Stories Finals, and a group photo. Don’t forget to BRING YOUR PORTABLE CHAIR! You know the chair that comes in a tube bag, which you sling over your shoulder and Wal-Mart had on sale last year for 9.97.

*Dance contest question for the Toomer Teens and Pre-teens: During the past two reunions we have successfully had a little kid dance and an adult bop contest. Unfortunately when the music plays, we have not had participants in the teen pre-teen age group. We have changed the song and even asked you what you want to hear. Wassup with that? I know that yall can dance. One reunion we had to temporarily suspend skating at the rink cause you guys ripped off your skates and took over the floor dancing. Then, then next day, on Saturday, you guys would not dance in the park. Again I ask you, wassup with that? Let me know. Leave a comment.

See you at the Reunion.

March Planning Committee Meeting

The March meeting marked 6 months until the reunion. Of course you know that the reunion will be held on Labor Day weekend. This is the first time EVER that we changed the date. Usually we hold the reunion on the weekend before Labor Day weekend. Unfortunately we lost our date at our favorite place, so Labor Day weekend it is.

After our gracious hosts, Loretta and Mike, served us a tasty bowl of gumbo with shrimp and andouille sausage, we discussed old business: family cookbook - where are your recipes TOOMERS, if you do not cook get one from a friend who can, we need them now please; hats; Berlin Farmers Market table - we are reserving a table at the Auction to raise money for the reunion. We are accepting donations. So during spring cleaning remember that one person_s junk is another person_s treasure. We will be there on Saturdays in May. We will be in the strip of tables closest to Blackwood Clementon Rd; first mailer - if you did not get a newsletter send your address to info@toomerfamily.com ; reunion Friday; 2006 group photo; donations towards DNA testing; Toomer Family history display at the Camden County Library in Voorhees in celebration of Black History Month; 2007 banquet. New business included: email received at ToomerFamily.com; reunion awards. Other topics discussed included: announcement of the Georgia Toomer Reunion July 2006 at Callaway Gardens, Pine Mountain, GA. The cottages and villas and mountains are fantatsic.

One thing that you may have noticed that is obviously missing is the discussion of all of the Registration forms that we have received. Hint Hint!! (The price is not high in comparison to other reunions. Our goal is to fundraise so that we can keep the cost low. All that is charged is the cost of the park on Saturday, which is six hours of food and family fun for $25. When I attended a reunion this summer with my Grandmother I had to pay $90. Toomer cost would have been $50. Thank goodness she is a senior or I would have had to pay $120.) Next meeting: April 15th

• Toomer 2006 Reunion page

• Toomer Photo at Afrigeneas
  
  

Momma and Poppa_s Kids Together

Have you ever thought about what it was like at Momma and Poppas dinner table? To use a phrase popularized by Sophia Patillo: Picture it, Philadelphia 1919. Henry and Bertha Toomer followed the path of many African Americans leaving the south, looking for work and opportunity in the north. In addition to their new baby, Albert, they had Clarence age 3, Robert age 5, Lucy age 9, and James age 11. Eventually, in the late 1920’s, they made their way across the Delaware River, to Berlin, NJ. Henry and Bertha had both buried their mothers, Lucy and Florida in Philly. Now they sought a place with wide open spaces, a place where the children could run free. This was needed, as they now had three more, baby Beese, Ida and Susie. The families, including the Parsons (Lewis and Ida) build homes on Elm Avenue (now Toomer Avenue). The space in Berlin must have been wider than expected, as Momma and Poppa continued to increase the population in south Jersey. The stock market crashed, but Toomer stock was way up! By 1933, five year old Nealie was the big brother to baby Stanley, Gertie and Donald.

Henry and Bertha had 16 children in all, so they must have had a pretty big and exciting table. As a kid there was always a special excitement in the air when they were together. When I think about planning committee meetings, I think about Momma and Poppa_s table. All of the kids were there in the past and we try to recreate this in the planning committee. When I look out the window and see Bernice, Patsy and Emily pull up, I say, here comes Sister, Albert and Charlie. Then Marianne and Cherylie Burly walk in and I say, yeah we have a double Susie (What could be better than a double Aunt Susie? Maybe add in a couple of her grandchildren.) Gwenie and Floyd, brings in Donald and Ida. (Just one note: We all know that Uncle Albert and Uncle Donald would show up together in real life. Those two use to hang. Before Nealie passed the three of them were like triples. I loved to see them coming.) I say all of this to say, we love to have all of Momma and Poppa_s kids at the meeting. At the least, we should have one representative from each large family branch. Additionally we are looking for more 20 somethings and 30 somethings to get in on the fun. (That does not mean that the 40 and 50 somethings are off the hook.) Bernice said that she is tired. The next meeting is April 15th.

• View Toomer Family History (NJ Toomers)

• View Biographies of Henry and Bertha’s Children

Why do Toomers need to study Africa?

Besides the fact that African history is your history, the Toomers have a new reason to celebrate Africa. Soon we will know the results of our DNA test from African Ancestry Inc. They will provide us with the people and country who share our ancestry. Go to the Toomer DNA testing page to get more information:
http://www.toomerfamily.com/Toomers_Today/toomerdna.html.

Additionally, at the reunion you will be able to win a prize if you correctly guess your African ancestry. In fact, we may provide a few clues on this blog. Who knows what we may do. You can also have fun looking at different pictures of Africans on the internet and notice a family resemblance.
I don't know I about you, but I have been claimed by Africans from multiple countries and islands. They say, You are a so-and-so. You just don't know it. Hey I am open. I will be from where ever you say, for right now. Cause one day I will cease to be ignorant of my personal African heritage. I just can not believe that the day is here.
Whoopie Goldberg made a good point on the PBS series, African American Lives, about knowing a specific ancestral country in Africa. She said that during the summers of her youth, the Italian kids would go to Italy, and the Irish kids would go to Ireland, to visit their family. They were going back to the old country. When they asked her where she came from, she said Mississippi, or whichever state she said. You know that Whoopie is crazy. Growing up they were not taught about Africa. Africa was the dark continent. But now, thanks to technology, we know the location of our old country. One day we can travel back home. Start saving now. Create an Africa Repatriation (Visiting) Fund.

• If you want to learn more about African American DNA testing, watch African American Lives, a PBS show and DVD. This is a new release . View more at PBS.
• If you really want to get deep into DNA , check out Spenser Wells, The Journey of Man: A Genetic Odyssey. This comes in book and video format. The video is great. They also show it on TV.
• If you want to know more about Genealogy and DNA, take a look at, Megan Smolenyak s, Trace Your Roots with DNA: Using genetic Test to Explore Your Family Tree. This is a wonderful resource for the family history researcher.
• If you want to contribute to the Toomer DNA testing fund, contact Floyd. These tests will benefit us all.

African History: More than Plight

Black history month in 2006 was much different than others. Usually, it is a wonderful time to enhance my knowledge of my people. Each year I look for a subject that I want to know more about. Or, I may read something, or see a program on TV that reminds me, Hey I really do not know much about such-in-such. Some times the subject is small and narrow, other times it is big and requires more than 28 days. Toomer DNA test is a biggie!
Unfortunately, here in America we have become very stale and self centered in our celebration of Black History month. First it seems like the only historical time period of focus is American slavery and American civil rights. Of course, these are very important topics. We have given some time to the plight of some African countries, but there is so much more to our history than plight.
We must realize that February is BLACK History. Black people are global people and we all have similar, yet unique experiences. In the Americas alone we have blacks in every part, Canada, Latin America and South America. What about European Africans?
I have been blessed to have a mother who taught me about my history and encourage the afrocentric. (Even though she would not let me get an afro when I was a kid. She had one, I just did not understand. Maybe you can comment on that Mom.) Additionally I attended Lawnside Middle School, where, if you did not learn anything else, you learned about black people. I remember having a conversation with my Mom, shortly after transferring to Lawnside. I told her that we never learned about white people. She told me that since I knew about the whites, now it was a good time for me to learn more about the blacks. And boy did I. Mr. Walter (Butch) Gaines, Mrs. (Aunt Helen) Morales, and Dr. Clark come to my mind first when I think of the impact that Lawnside had on my education of Africans in America. In essence they taugh me more about myself.

First Toomers I want to ask you:

What do you know about the lives of African people

before the slave trade?

You may ask, How do I begin to learn more?

READ.

Yes it is that simple. Use your local library. They will have books within the county system on African Studies. Also, if they do not have a particular book, you can give them an author and a title and they will retrieve the item for you via interlibrary loan. Use the internet. There are tons of pages on African Studies. Try to stick with notable web sites like academic and historical institutions, so that you get accurate information.

You may ask, What should I study first?

The Three Great Kingdoms.

Ghana, Mali, and Songhay are considered the three great kingdoms of West Africa. This is a good place to start. Get an overview of what was going on in Africa before the continent was invaded. Visit the family web site and view the Toomer Resource.

If you would like to share resources, add a comment. We can learn from one another. (I know that the Toomer family has more than a few former dashiki, kofi hat wearing, black power baby boomers* with deep African knowledge. Dust off of those dust jackets and let us know what is in your library. * They have a new term for baby boomers. You guys are now called baby geezers. Honest. I did not make this up. Imagine. You are now the age of Edith and Archie Bunker. But to me you guys look really great. They say that 50s, 60s are the new 40s, 50s. How did it feel to receive you AARP card in the mail? Really, I am not laughing.) Enjoy learning about yourself.

Toomer Family Blog

Shamele, This is a great idea. I think that it will be interesting to see how it catches on. Hopefully, the family will use it.

floyd

What is the Toomer Family Blog?

The word blog comes from weB LOG. A blog is simply a web journal that is updated regularly by one person or a team of people. The blog posts are kept in reverse chronological order, newest on the top. Learn more about blogs at http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blog

Generally, a blog is on one subject, such as the Toomers. Floyd and Shamele, Toomer bloggers, will add blog posts relating to Toomer family history, reunions and other items of interest. We invite everyone to feel free to add your comments to any posts.

Our goal is to facilitate greater communication between family members. The Toomer Family Blog will enable us to quickly provide updates and insight on reunion planning, family history research and general family happenings.

The Rules: We will keep it simple (and modify as necessary).

• Be nice. (But I don’t have to tell Toomers to be nice. Do I? Cause we are all just as sweet as apple pie.)

• Comments should pertain to the specific posts. Do not use the blog if email would be better. Send updates like address changes, births, deaths, marriages, and graduation to info@toomerfamily.com .

Toomer Homeland Security Notice: In order to protect family members from external (or internal) threats of WMD’s, and other situations deemed in the interest of the national security of this family group, all blog posts and comments are subject to the approval of the Administration, (President Floyd) and THS, (Secretary Shamele). We caution family members to remember that all things posted on the internet will become part of the permanent record. Do not disclose too much personal information.

This blog is dedicated to ALL Toomer family members, past, present, and future. We want to share information about our family history research and family reunion.